On Monday, October 28, 2019, former Boston College student, Inyoung You, was charged with involuntary manslaughter in the death by suicide of her former boyfriend, Alexander Urtula. In the two months leading up to the suicide, Inyoung had texted Alexander 47,000 times (an average of 800 texts per day), often telling him to “go die,” or “go kill yourself,” and that she, his family and the world would all be better off without him.
In May of this year, Alexander was only hours away from his Boston University graduation when he jumped from the roof of a parking garage. Inyoung was there to watch. Inyoung and Alexander had been a couple for 18 months, unlike in the Michelle Carter case where the “couple” had very little actual contact and hadn’t known each other very long. In this new case, Inyoung had been "physically, verbally and psychologically abusive" toward Alexander, according to authorities. In the days just before the suicide, she intensified her abuse, making it more frequent and more demeaning. She had total power and control over him.The Michelle Carter case involved a 17 year old girl with her own depression and distorted thinking, where she was seeking attention by being associated with suicide. By contrast, the Inyoung You case looks more like a form of domestic violence. Domestic violence is often about manipulation, power, and control, and affects people regardless of gender. "Domestic violence may not always look the same, but it is always about power and control," said the Massachusetts district attorney prosecuting the case. Inyoung You was not present for the indictment because she left school early and returned to her native South Korea.
I think it's really important to note as you did, how Inyoung You and her boyfriend were not "long distance" like Michelle Carter and Conrad Roy. And that they had frequent contact in person for 18 months on top of an average of 800 texts a day, for Urtula there was much less of an ability to escape as it was a much more real relationship and not just a secret text romance with someone he had only met once. Furthermore, for Inyoung, her boyfriend was not just a text notification or words on a screen, she did not have the same disconnect between reality and the relationship in the way Michelle did. And while it was debatable if Michelle realized she was actually helping to take a life, Inyoung did not present the same delusions.
ReplyDeleteWow, my dad had just told me about this case after I told him about Michelle Carter. It is hard to imagine that they were dating and hanging out in person because I believe that if anyone was dating someone that was being abusive towards them, they would leave them right away and figure out a way to stay away from them. However, he knew that she was abusive and still continued to date her. She obviously wanted the power in this relationship, which is why she felt that she needed to tell him to kill himself. I hope that she is found and convicted because she is guilty. Unlike Michelle, she doesn't seem to have a mental disorder, so she knew what she was doing and decided to go through with it anyway.
ReplyDeleteIn response to Jennifer, I definitely agree that it is hard to fathom how Inyoung was able to treat Alexander so poorly while living in close proximity to him and seeing how her actions affected him. While the Michelle Carter case was outrageous, it was much easier to feel a degree of sympathy for Michelle. However, I don't agree that every person in an abusive relationship would leave right away or figure out a way to stay away from their abusive partner. Many people in abusive relationships have a hard time even accepting the fact that their partner is abusive. In this case, victims often convince themselves that their partner is not abusive and their aggressive tendencies are just one aspect of their personality. Some abuse victims know they are in an abusive relationship but can't bring themselves to leave because they are attached to their partner - like Stockholm Syndrome. For example, Nicole Brown continued to stay with OJ Simpson despite calling the police several times regarding OJ's domestic abuse. Nicole was aware of the abusive nature of her relationship, yet she chose to stay. I agree that Michelle had mental health problems but I disagree with the claim that Inyoung didn't seem to have mental health problems as well. Inyoung's abusive and controlling tendencies could definitely be an indicator of other mental health issues.
DeleteIt is unfortunate how Alexander Urtula was abused physically, mentally, and psychologically by Inyoung Yu, a girl who demonstrated the signs of domestic violence as you had noted. As she was aware of his depression, her abuse was recognized by family members and classmates from both Urtula's side and Yu's. She was immoral as she lacked empathy to comfort her partner in the dark whole of depression he was struggling to escape. Instead, she dug the hole deeper and deeper, where she became the reason he decided to kill himself. This is similar to Michelle Carter's case as Inyoung Yu was the main reason behind her partner's suicide. Something we can also take away from these two cases is how the history on both Yu's phone and Michelle's phone contributed significantly in allowing the police to capture a clear idea of the reasons behind the suicide. Even though we might not be using our electronic devices in a similar manner to Yu and Carter, it is important to keep in mind that each and every action is tracked over the internet and on one's electronic devices.
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